My Children

Let me make it very clear that I never have done anything in my life that would remotely give me the idea that I am entitled to the amazing children that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, I clearly recognized that he deserved so much more than the person he would be receiving as a mother. My life has been tainted with many mistakes and stained with self inflicted experiences that would determine I probably should not have children. I did not treat my body as the gift it is for many years, possibly because so many in my life took advantage of that gift as well. But the day I realized I would bear my first son, I decided to do bettter. When you know better you do better and I would be everything I possible could for him and the babies that I knew would follow. Michael is an amazing person. Strongwilled, responsible, hard working and sensitive. He learned most of these things from his father, another blessing I have never done anything to deserve but that I try everyday to not take advantage of. All of my chilren have brought a new spirit and energy to our family and home and all of them have strengthened me in ways I could probably never describe. The reason for this post is simply how amazed I am that my children came to me with such strong testimonies of their value, strength and missions here on earth. My third son Ryan and my oldest daughter Avery have always loved being in the temple as soon as they were old enough to attend.Last year they would wake on their own every Friday at 4:30 am to go and do baptisms for the dead. Without fail they would go every Friday, come home and eat breakfast and then be on time for the bus to pick them up for school. They would assure me that if I would go I would not be tired and my days would be much happier. In my state of depression and bitterness I refused their offers but sensed they may be right. My testimony grew as I watched my babies testify of temple work every friday before the sun rose. Their grades were better, they fought less with each other and the other kids, they seemed to accomplish so many things and they were truly happy. Our home was a better place too. After moving to our new home in August of 2011, they were unable to get rides and so their attendance dropped. Last month Ryan came to Gary and I and shared that he was struggling with profanity. He asked for a blessing and then continued to tell us that he really needed us to take him to the temple every week. It was where he needed to be. How can a parent deny a child the opportunity to feel the spirit in the temple weekly. We began attending with Ryan and Avery that very week. Because of the holidays it was impossible to find the time to attend for the following two weeks but last night we found ourselves within the walls of the Idaho Falls temple again. My heart was full with emotion and gratitude as I watched my children race to the doors of the temple and ring the bell to be admitted. They feel so at ease and at home there. They do not need me to show them where to go or what to do. It is a familiar place to them, a place that they crave. So Ryan extended us the challenge to attend the temple 52 times in 2012. Only 51 times more and we will make our goal. I am pretty sure that we will receive so much more than we are anticipating at this point and I am anxious to share what we learn while serving those who can not do those things for themselves. Thank you Heavenly Father for amazing children. Thank you for blessing me with children I do not deserve so that I may become "MORE"!

2012 - My year of MORE

I dread New Year Resolutions mostly because I feel pressure to make them and usually never achieve most of the ones I finally set but my resolution this year is to change that. I have thought for weeks what I wanted to change or be different or what bad habits to stop and the anxiety crowded in over another failure.
I love sugar and soda and french fries so why do I have to stop. I obsess about my weight every minute of every day so I know I need to lose but this year I decided to only have resolutions that added to my life. I want more in my life. I want more love, more memories, more health, more time with my kids, more energy, more dates with my husband, more celebrations, simply more. So for 2012 I resolve to have more. ‎
2012 -I promise to eat more fruits and vegetables, more mornings not stepping on the scale, spend more time in the temple, read more pages of the BOM, testify of my Savior more, date my lover and best friend more, more pictures and video, more creativity, remember more birthdays and anniversaries, more journaling, more memories with my kids, more laughing with my friends, more scrapbooking, more organization, more snuggling. This is my year of MORE cuz I am damn sick of having less!